As parents, are we raising daughters or daughters-in-law?
As parents, are we nurturing our daughters to be independent individuals, or are we unknowingly preparing them to fit into the mold of daughters-in-law even before they reach that stage in life? It's a question that echoes in the minds of many, including myself.
Growing up, I often found myself bombarded with comments like, "Learn to cook properly, Deepanshi. What will your in-laws say?" or "Just say yes, even when you don't want to, otherwise your husband will feel disrespected." These remarks, among many others, made me wonder: even before getting married, do we already feel like daughters-in-law?
Reflecting on this, I've come to realize the immense societal pressure placed on women from a young age. The expectations, the judgments, the limitations—it's suffocating. But why does this happen? Why are our choices, our friendships, our very existence subjected to scrutiny and gossip?
In interviewing hundreds of women, I've discovered a common thread: patriarchal conditioning. From the moment a girl is born, societal norms dictate her identity. She's taught to be nurturing, accommodating, and self-effacing, groomed to fit the role of the perfect wife and mother. This conditioning seeps into every aspect of her life, from the toys she plays with to the career paths she's encouraged to pursue.
Take, for instance, the woman who chooses a career in law. Instead of being celebrated for her ambition and intellect, she's deemed unsuitable as a wife—a prime example of how deeply entrenched patriarchal values are in our society. Why should our career choices, our clothing, or even our friendships be subject to judgment and gossip?
Then there are the limiting beliefs imposed upon us. "Parents do this, wear that, travel only after marriage, in your own home," they say. But are we inadvertently implying that a girl's life truly begins only after marriage? How damaging is it when a girl, who has spent her entire childhood in a home, isn't allowed to call it her own? Are we robbing our daughters of their authenticity?
These questions weigh heavily on my mind, and I'm sure many others can relate. But amidst the doubts and uncertainties, there's hope. As parents, educators, and society at large, we have the power to break free from these oppressive norms. We can raise our daughters to be strong, independent individuals who don't conform to outdated expectations.
It's time to empower our daughters to live authentically, to pursue their passions unapologetically, and to carve out their own paths in life. Let's challenge Let's change things as they are, remove the things that stop them, and make a future where every girl can do well in her own way. Let's work together to tell a new story and make a path for a group of strong women.
